How to overcome the guilt of not serving Krsna properly?
Nothing is more purifying than the holyname so you have to purify your external and internal senses, so just remember, meditate on holyname and Krishna then you will be perfectly purified, internally and externally.
om apavitrah pavitro vā sarvāvasthāṁ
gato api vā yaḥ smaret puṇḍarīkākṣaṁ
sa bahya abhyantaraṁ śuciḥ
śrī viṣṇu śrī viṣṇu śrī viṣṇu
When you chant the holyname then bahya and antar, external-internal shudhi happens.
bahya abhyantaraṁ śuciḥ, purity, one becomes pure. So remember and chant Krishna’s holyname. On top you can ask for His forgiveness. Anything that we cannot do, “Krishna, please forgive me. I’m duty bound.” So you can say
aparadha-sahasrani kriyante ‘har-nisham maya
daso ‘ham iti mam matva kshamasva madhusudana
You pray to Krishna, “Please, forgive me for my short comings” and Krishna is very compassionate. Our God is very compassionate, His whole existence is compassionate. Krishna is the embodiment of compassion. When you pray to Him for your shortcomings, immediately, He helps you, forgives you, He comes to you and doesn’t mind anything, very compassionate.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura describes 6 kinds of surrender, he says –
“anukulyasya sankalpah pratikulyasya vajranam
raksisyatiti visvaso goptrtve varanam tatha
atma-niksepa – karpanye sad-vidha saranagati. ”
There are 6 kinds of saranagati. “anukulyasya sankalpah”, whatever is favourable to Krishna and to execute Krishna Consciousness, we must accept that immediately.
In order to stretch this saranagati, the second word he is saying is just the opposite, “pratikulyasya varjanam”.
“pratikulyasya varjanam”, means which is not favourable. “Pratikul”, to execute Krishna Consciousness, to render service to Krishna or a devotee. Whatever is “pratikul”, whatever is not conducive for spiritual life and spiritual subject matter, we must give that up immediately.
So this in itself is a very very high level of surrender to Krishna.
Just imagine a husband and a wife, if wife gives up everything that husband doesn’t like and wife accepts everything or does everything that husband likes. Imagine how elevated that couple will become.
On the contrary, if wife does exactly the opposite of what husband wants and wife doesn’t accept everything that husband likes and rejects everything that he likes.
Same thing with husband, he doesn’t do, what wife likes and does what wife doesn’t like. What kind of surrender it is on both parts?
So surrendering to Krishna means we must accept everything that He likes, immediately,without waiting for a second and we should reject everything that He doesn’t like, immediately.
So this is called surrender, “ anukulyasya sankalpah pratikulyasya varjanam”.
The third saranagati, Bhaktivinoda Thakur describes is “raksisyatiti visvaso”, to have full confidence, full faith that Krishna will protect me under all circumstances. This is Krishna’s promise to His devotees.
“Kaunteya pratijanahi na me bhakta pranasyati”.
“Hey Arjuna, boldly declare that my devotees , they never perish. ”
So “ goptrtve varanam tatha”, “That Krishna is my guardian, provider, He will provide me everything.” He is providing to rakshas, He is providing to animals in jungle, definitely He will provide to His devotees.
So to have a strong faith that Krishna, He will provide, that is “goptrtve varanam tatha”.
And last one is “atma-niksepa”. Last but not the least, “atma-niksepa”, means consigning everything that belongs to us.
There is a very good example of Bali Maharaj, he gave everything to Krishna, including himself. He gave the kingdom of the whole universe, not just Earth planet to Vamadev, who is Krishna. In turn what Krishna did, Krishna became so indebted, became so obliged that He became Bali Maharaj ‘s security guard. Such is the attitude of Krishna towards His devotees, who totally surrender to Him.
Even Gopis, Gopis were totally surrendered,
“Manasa deho geho yo kichu mor, apilu tuya pade nanda kishor”
Anything and everything that Gopis had, Gopis consigned that to Krishna.
So Krishna protects, He gives Himself to His devotees. And Krishna says to the Gopis – “I cannot repay the debt to you, you have given me everything.”
Krishna got defeated for eternity, He becomes sold out to Gopis. Krishna remains indebted to Gopis for eternity, He could never repay the debt of the Gopis. Why? Because Gopis did “atma-niksepa”, they consigned everything to Krishna.
Lord Ramchandra told Hanuman that even if I try to repay you for your love and devotion to me, I can never do that.
So this saranagatih, “atma-niksepa – karpanye”.
“Karpanye” means utmost humility. Humility means- “ I am spirit soul and my only duty is to serve Krishna and nothing else.” This is utmost humility.
So to offer that to Krishna is saranagatih.
One of the saranagatih, if not all, is good enough to surrender to Krishna.
This is called surrender and how to surrender to Krishna.
Krishna is merciful to every living entity but we have to attract his attention, that is what it means- surrendering, praying. The best prayer in the whole Vedic literature is chanting the holy name, Hare Krishna hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. We are praying to Radharani, Hare, My dear mother, Hara please engage me in Krishna’s transcendental loving devotional service and when we pray Krishna is right there. When we put neutral when we go away then Krishna is not there. We have to attract his minimum attention, not much just a little because He is ready, He is always ready. He desires that all the living entities come back to him, he desires so he is ever ready but we are not. So, we have to express our desire to enjoy with him, that’s all. It doesn’t take much just express your desire to him, express your desire to enjoy to Krishna, Gurudev, that’s all it takes.
Shaastra, sadhu kripaaye yadi Krsna unmukh hoye
Sei jeew nistare maya tahaar chhudaaye
Just unmukh, just turn your face towards Krishna, that’s all we have to do, very easy. All that a lost child has to do is to come to father and mother and express his desire not even he expresses his desire, immediately accepted, it is that easy but we have to take the first step, we have to. Taking that first step means devotion, means praying, means letting him know that I want to come to you. You don’t have to walk towards him, you just have to turn the face ,that’s all and He will come and grab you, get you, He is that merciful. You don’t have to walk towards him. Chaitanya Charitamrita says,
Shaastra, sadhu kripaaye yadi Krsna unmukh hoye
Sei jeew nistare maya tahaar chhudaaye
Not that he walk towards Krishna, he just turns his face towards Krishna, by whose mercy? Guru, Saadhu and Shaastra’s mercy and all these 3 are unconditionally merciful and due to this Krishna’s mercy, due to this compassion Krishna has devised so many millions of devices in this material world by coming in contact to that you can go back to him, you can turn your face. Most prominent are Shaastra, Sadhu and Guru but many other devices are there, the deity form he takes is a merciful incarnation of Krishna. He advents as Holy name, Golokere prema dhana harinaam sankirtan rati na janmilo kene tay, that harinaam descended from spiritual world just to deliver us. The deity incarnation of Krishna prayed by Guru Parampara, Acaraya My dear Lord please come and become a deity here, dwell in the deity so that living entity can render service and get attracted towards you. So many devices, his holy name, his holy dhama, Mayapur if you go there immediately you will be delivered. So many festivals, Jagannath rath yaatra is coming so that people can contact, Jagannath will glance over all these people and that’s all it takes, contact. So many devices Krishna has left behind – Srimad Bhagavatam, His pastimes he left behind which can deliver us and make us face towards Krishna. This is his compassion, He devised in this material which is an ocean of nescience, He has oasis within that pastimes, bhagavatam, all devotees of the Lord, Guru and Sadhu, all these are oasis within this material ocean which Krishna has devised for us but we don’t want to contact them. We always want to turn our face, I’m I’m, Ishwaroham-aham bhogi, I’m the doer, kartaham iti manyate, no, you’re not. Just turn your face towards Krishna so this is the secret, somehow or other you take shelter of Guru, Krsna, Guru, Sadhu and Shastra who can help us turn our face towards Krishna and it starts with 16 rounds a day, that is the most easiest way, topmost prayer, simple and sublime prayer, simple and sublime. 16 rounds a day and that will make your life.